Bad Casting Director
I need you ladies to project your voices more. Bras off.
A headshot is only as good as the head behind it.
If casting directors are just failed actors, why am I such a good actor?
It’s the sort of part you’re really into. The movie is about Feminism, so you get to show your tits.
Are you comfortable? Water? Juice? Ovary massage?
I’d audition for this myself but the pay sucks.
You’re perfect for this part. Start with “I’m a slut” and go through the “Condoms are pointless” speech.
Can you snowboard? That’s a special skill. Like karate swords and paintballing.
I need you to have that spark. That kick. Think more like Marlon Wayans.
Did anyone see Inception? Yeah, I liked it better when it was called The Cell.
I need a young actor with heat. What’s that Michael Sierra kid doing?
No Janet, it’s not a spelling error. It says fat retard. Find me 10. Now.
I though grape soda was your thing? Sure, fine, call the NAACP. They call them colored people too.
I can’t believe you’re pregnant. I bet that’s really hurt your blowjob quota.
Dear Ashley: Thank you for your recent submission. I see that you were recently cast as Daisy in Shadowreflection Theatre Company’s minimalist Great Gatsby. Is that homo Edward still their artistic director? Tell him he can eat a dog’s shit, and make sure he knows that I said it. We’d love to see you this Thursday for the new Justin Beiber music video.
